Interdependence

Dear community,  
  
I hope your summer is going well!

In my own life and work with clients, I see how many of us are drawn toward a deeper understanding of relationship—one that empowers us to go beyond dependence and embrace interdependence as a vital, developmental goal. I am on this path, continually learning to cultivate genuine connection while remaining a whole person—connected to myself and rooted in love. It’s challenging! I’m grateful to be with others doing this same work—watching us all build relationships that nourish, evolve, and help us grow.  
  
Simone de Beauvoir teaches us that true connection requires respect for the other's independence—a love rooted in freedom, mutual recognition, and shared growth. I am inspired by her example and her long relationship with Jean-Paul Sartre, which seemed to embody these principles. They maintained their own homes and identities, choosing to live separately yet remaining deeply connected. Despite its challenges, their relationship defied convention and embraced freedom, illustrating that authentic love can be based on independence rather than possession or dependence.  
  
Living in the wild beauty of Cornwall has deepened my interest in deep ecology. Founded by philosopher Arne Naess in the 1970s, deep ecology encourages a fundamental shift in how we relate to nature—moving away from a human-centered view and toward recognizing the intrinsic worth of all living beings. It promotes sustainability, respect for biodiversity, and a moral responsibility to protect the natural world, viewing humans as an integral part of the Earth's ecosystems rather than separate from or above them. It calls me to see myself as part of a vast, interconnected web of life, where our well-being depends on recognizing the mutual reliance between humans and the ecosystems around us.  
  
Both de Beauvoir’s ideas and deep ecology highlight the importance of fostering interdependence—an understanding that true connection and growth come from respecting each other's autonomy and recognizing our place within a larger web of life. In my work with clients, I see how embracing this ideal—where love and relationships are practices of mutual growth—can transform bonds, creating relationships rooted in respect, authenticity, and shared evolution. We don’t have to live separately like Simone and Jean-Paul to honor independence, but we can learn to take space and enjoy our own lives while nurturing deep, lasting connection.  
  
These principles aren’t just theories—they’re deeply personal. They challenge me to live with greater awareness, humility, and compassion. They remind me that love, community, and ecological health all require a shift from dependence—often driven by fear or unmet needs—to interdependence rooted in trust, respect, and shared purpose. It’s a lifelong journey of learning to stand firmly in my own truth while remaining open to the web of connection that sustains us all.  
  
The Developmental Shift: Moving from Dependence to Interdependence...  
  
In my work and personal reflection, I see how dependence—especially when rooted in early wounds or unmet needs—can lead to emotional dysregulation and a fragile nervous system. I’ve observed both clients and myself caught in cycles of trying to fix, control, or overly rely on others—what we call codependence. It hurts and can stunt our development.  
  
My goal is to help clients develop interdependence. It’s about cultivating self-regulation and self-compassion as guiding principles. From a Jungian perspective, individuation—the process of becoming your authentic self—involves differentiation: creating a healthy separation from external influences while maintaining meaningful connections. This is how we grow into balanced, whole beings.  
  
After experiencing significant losses and separations, my partner and I are navigating the delicate art of creating a web of interdependence that crosses oceans and challenges old ideas. With both my current partner and my first partner, I am exploring a new way of relating—one that honors our independence while remaining connected. I am learning so much about the fluidity of connection, self-care, and openness to change.  
  
My partner's three children challenge and inspire me daily to develop patience, presence, and authenticity. I’m reminded that relationship is a continuous act of giving and receiving, of creating space for being an individual while belonging to a community. They encourage me to balance my desire for control with gentle acceptance of life’s unpredictability.  
  
In midlife, I see that emotional, psychological, and spiritual dependence no longer serve my growth. Dependence feels chaotic and can disrupt my nervous system, diminishing my capacity for self-regulation and compassion. I am learning that true resilience comes from differentiation—standing apart while remaining connected, honoring my unique self, and nurturing compassion for myself and others.  
  
An Invitation... 
  
If this resonates with you—that longing for authentic connection and the desire to nurture a balanced relationship with yourself and others—I invite you to explore therapy as a way to deepen these themes. Whether you’re seeking individual support to cultivate self-awareness and emotional resilience or couples therapy to build relationships rooted in growth and mutual respect, I am here to walk with you.  
  
Together, we can create a safe, supportive space to examine patterns, heal wounds, and develop the skills necessary for relationships that nourish, evolve, and are grounded in genuine interdependence. It’s a chance for you to nurture your capacity for self-regulation, embrace your uniqueness, and foster connections that uplift and sustain you.  
  
If you’re ready to take that step—toward greater self-love, healthier relationships, and a more balanced life—I encourage you to click the link below to book your first appointment. Please keep in mind that I often have a waiting list, so if you don’t see an available time that works for you, reply to this email letting me know whether you're seeking individual or couples therapy. My hope is that everyone who wants support will find a place with me, or I’ll be happy to refer you to a trusted colleague.  
  
I look forward to supporting you on your journey of growth and connection.  
  
Love,  
Hannah Green, MFT  
  
P.S. If these ideas inspire you, I invite you to explore these books and authors to deepen your understanding of interdependence, authentic love, and ecological consciousness:  

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir  
Deep Ecology: Living as if Nature Mattered by Bill Devall and George Sessions 
The Ecology of Wisdom by Arne Naess  

Art in progress